BUGLE BRIEFS

POPULARITY OF CHICKEN WINGS CREATES GLUT OF WINGLESS CHICKEN BODIES

CHICKEN PROCESSORS SAY UPCOMING SUPER BOWL WILL ONLY EXACERBATE PROBLEM

Orbco produced thousands of
these defective globes

ASTRONAUT'S POOR EYESIGHT COSTS GLOBE MAKER MILLIONS

Astronaut Thad Puckleberry
says he's sorry about
globe mixup

Officials at the desktop globe manufacturer Orbco announced today that the company has lost millions of dollars in sales, bringing it to the brink of bankruptcy.  The loss occurred after Orbco manufactured nearly a half-million defective desktop globes.  

Orbco president Fennis "Junior" Gweech explained that the company produced the defective globes after astronaut Thad Puckleberry, who had just returned from the International Space Station, told Orbco that the earth was actually oval shaped rather than round.  "He was so passionate about it that he convinced us," said Gweech.  "Then we found out later the guy has horrible eyesight and can't see his hand in front of his face.  How does a guy like that become an astronaut?" Puckleberry released a statement, saying, "I feel really bad about it."

AUTOMAKERS COMPLAIN ABOUT STARBUCKS' NEW ONE GALLON "TRENTA" CUP

Starbucks' new Trenta cup
 in cup holder of a new Ford Furlough'

"We're maxed out.  If coffee cups get any larger, we'll have to eliminate the front passenger seat." 

Javier DeDeDeDelio, Chief of Interior Design, Ford Motor Company