BUGLE BRIEFS

LOCAL NEWS:  IN MONEY SAVING MOVE, SJ AIRPORT INSTALLS MOVING SIDEWALK THAT DOESN'T MOVE
Airport spokesman David Vossbrink:  "A motor would have cost us another $80,000."
Related Story:  Airport fire personnel rescue hundreds of stranded travelers from non-moving walkway


DISCOVERY THAT ELECTRICAL STIMULATION IMPROVES MATH SKILLS LEADS TO RECORD NUMBER OF FORK-IN-THE-TOASTER INJURIES TO COLLEGE STUDENTS

PASSENGERS BALK AT AIRLINES' ATTEMPTS TO SWITCH TO EVEN SMALLER AIRCRAFT 
"This is ridiculous.  They've gone too far," says National Association of Business Travelers

WHITE HOUSE SPOKESMAN ADMITS OBAMA WAS WATCHING McGYVER RERUN ON HIS SMARTPHONE DURING NEWS CONFERENCE