LOCAL PHYSICIAN SAYS HE'LL "BEAT THE TAR" OUT OF THE NEXT PATIENT WHO ASKS IF MEDICATION IS RIGHT FOR THEM
BASEBALL COMMISSIONER BUD SELIG SENDS LETTER TO SAN JOSE MAYOR ASKING, "WHAT WAS IT AGAIN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DECIDING?"
-LOCAL FUN MEASURERS SAY TIME-HONORED "BARREL OF MONKEYS" SCALE OBSOLETE
FASHION AND LIFESTYLE: SCENT EXPERT DESCRIBES NEW "IN THE WILD" COLOGNE AS SMELLING LIKE A GIRAFFE BELCHING FIGS
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