TODAY'S HEADLINES

CAMPBELL MAN WANTS TO KNOW:  "WHERE DID ALL THOSE GOOD 1-800 DENTIST COMMERCIALS GO?"

"I JUST ARMOR ALL'D MY TIRES," RANKS AS THE NUMBER ONE REASON GIVEN BY VALLEY MOTORISTS FOR RIDING MASS TRANSIT

VISITORS TO LOS GATOS NUDIST RESORT CONFUSED BY NEW "NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE" SIGNS

SCIENTISTS WHO SPENT TWO YEARS STUDYING REPORTED "ALIEN LIFE FORM" IN MILPITAS FAMILY'S BACKYARD CONCLUDE IT'S JUST A DOG'S NOSE STICKING THROUGH A HOLE IN THE FENCE


STATE SENATOR JOE SIMITIAN PROPOSES LEGISLATION PROHIBITING PEOPLE UNDER 25 FROM USING THE WORD "LIKE."