Wednesday, January 12, 2011

ACLU TO SUE ON BEHALF OF ELDERLY CAT BURGLAR WITH SQUEAKY ARTIFICIAL HIP

LEGAL ORGANIZATION CLAIMS BURGLAR HAD SUCCESSFUL CAREER UNTIL SIDELINED BY SQUEAKY JOINT


An ACLU spokesperson said today the organization plans to sue artificial hip manufacturer Flexton, LLC on behalf of 71 year old Huey Beedlecorn, a serial cat burglar who was captured by police around 3:00am Monday while allegedly trying to burglarize a west side home.  "Because of his squeaky artificial hip, our client keeps getting caught in the act and is having a terrible time trying to make a living.  We believe Flexton's product is defective and that the company is responsible for Huey's plight,"  said ACLU attorney Petal O' Gummton, who added that, although he claims to have burglarized thousands of homes over more than 50 years, Beedlecorn had never been arrested until after receiving his new hip.  "He's just trying to make ends meet." 


COMING UP IN THE BUGLE FOOD SECTION THIS SATURDAY:
Restaurant guests describe the revulsion they felt after seeing chef use a large kitchen fork to scratch his back.  

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