Gang Experts Concerned: "These guys can get really cranky.”
Gangs are not a recent phenomenon in most cities, but according to experts, older men, most of them in their 70’s and 80’s, are increasingly forming gangs. “These are guys who meet every morning over scalding hot coffee at McDonald’s. It started out as just a social thing, but it has really taken a turn for the worse,” said Mayor’s Gang Task Force spokesperson Melinda Spunch. “Just last week, members of the South Side Mickey D’s gang did a drive-by smirking past the hangout of the San Jo Golden Arches.”
Police are investigating the case and describe the vehicle involved as a silver 1990’s Buick LeSabre or Mercury Grand Marquis with a AAA sticker on the back bumper and a compass on the windshield. “It was going very slowly and there were six occupants in the vehicle, all short males with receding hairlines and wearing goggle-type glasses,” said police spokesman David Tran, who added that a white assisted living center shuttle van has also been observed during other such “drive-bys.” Spunch said the Mayor’s Gang Task Force has organized additional morning Cribbage games in an effort to keep gang members off the streets. “We’re just asking everyone to calm down and keep the peace,” said Spunch.
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