FRUSTRATED SELIG SAYS HE CAN’T READ SIGNATURES ON LETTER FROM CEOs

Undecipherable Signatures May Blunt Letter’s Impact

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig complained today that he is unable to read any of the 75 signatures on a letter sent to him by Bay Area business leaders endorsing the A’s move to San Jose.  “Some of the signatures look like seismograph readings.  Another appears to be an electrocardiograph of a patient who flat lined, then came back to life, and then flat lined again,” complained Selig. He also singled out Cisco’s John Chambers.  “His signature looks like it says ‘Jubw Obnobnn.’”  What do these guys do, write with their feet?”