Saturday, November 20, 2010

HIRING FOR BROWN'S STAFF AFFECTS NEARBY BUSINESSES

GOVERNOR-ELECT ACCUSED OF DEPLETING SACRAMENTO'S SUPPLY OF OLD, CRANKY WORKERS

During his campaign for Governor, Jerry Brown promised that when it came to hiring staff members for his office, he would focus on those who were having the most difficult time finding a job -- older workers.  
"Mr. Sprinker"
Buzz Fesserman
But even though his term doesn't begin until January, some local business people are already complaining that Brown’s office is stealing their old, cantankerous employees. Marlin Owaka, the manager of a Sacramento area Orchard Supply Hardware store, described losing one such valued worker. “We called Buzz ‘Mr. Sprinkler,’" he said, referring to 69-year-old Buzz Fesserman. "Not because of frequent urination problems, which he did have, but because he knew everything about home sprinkler systems.  He yelled at customers and passed gas when he coughed, and the customers just loved him.  Now he’s gone...working for the Governor.”

OSH isn’t the only store to lose a beloved older worker to the state.  At the Wal-Mart store down the street, assistant manager Tinkle Bettencourt tearfully described former employee, 82-year-old Carmelita Goodlespech.  "She always smelled like Icy Hot," Bettencourt said, wiping her eyes. "She worked here for years, and then one day she said she was going to work for the new governor and she was gone. Now I can't help but cry every time I smell Icy Hot."  Brown spokesperson, 87-year-old Wallis Plenn, refused to comment for this story, adding, "Go (expletive) in your hat.  And get a haircut, you (expletive) hippie."  

New Home of the
Winchester Mystery House
WINCHESTER MYSTERY HOUSE TO MOVE TO DOWNTOWN OFFICE BUILDING
Mystery House Manager Blix Nguyen:  "It won't be as spooky, but the maintenance on the old place was killing us."  


PFIZER INTRODUCES TRYPTOPHAN TABLETS SO VEGETARIANS CAN ALSO FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH AFTER THANKSGIVING MEAL



POLICE RESPONDING TO PROWLER CALL FIND “SURVIVORMAN” LES STROUD IN ANDY ROONEY'S BEVERLY HILLS BACKYARD 
Rooney:  “He was prying termites out of the fence with a pocketknife and eating them. People shouldn't eat termites.”  

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